These are a few of my least-favourite things

Not to be a negative nelly or anything, but there are some things that just won’t do. Peeves, if you will. Here are some of mine:

  • The word ‘nixer’. I can’t explain it. I just hate it.
  • People who don’t believe me when I say I don’t drink tea or coffee, and particularly, people who are horrified by the revelation. I’m not stopping YOU from drinking them. Also, it means I never get caught up in office tea/coffee politics, and never get into trouble at home for there not being any milk.
  • That Crunchy Nut Cornflakes ad where the girl is sitting in the car and she pours the milk directly into the cereal box and then tips it all into her gob and the Crunchy Nut Cornflake-tainted milk goes down her neck inside her collar. Imagine the smell off it after an hour or so? Imagine how sticky it would be? Imagine the bang of old socks off it? So wrong.
  • Hats with animal ears. Not acceptable on grown-ups. Children, yes. Grown-ups. No. Controversially, I believe a onesie is an acceptable item of clothing for an adult, in the comfort of their own homes. But don’t make me look at you at a festival wearing a hat with ears. They’re not your ears. You’re not fooling anyone.

This is ok

This is not ok

  • Poorly washed dishes. If I can still see your dinner from yesterday on the plate, the plate is not clean. If I can see a mucky pawprint on the glass, the glass is not clean. A cloth for wiping the table is not an acceptable cleaning implement for said plates and glasses. A dedicated dish-washing tool should be used. There are no short cuts here. None.
  • The smell of brown sauce. Smells like poverty.
  • Baby on board stickers. I’m not any more likely to purposefully ram into the back of your car if you don’t have a baby on board sticker. “What’s that? There’s no baby on board? Well then I’ll just scoot on up there and cause a pile-up”. Ditto for “princess on board”, “supporter of x football team on board”, “crazy bitch on board”… basically, I don’t want to know who’s on board.

Well,  now that I’ve let a little bit of my rotten apple core heart out, here are some things that I DO like:

  • Cats getting into scrapes
  • Videos of cats getting into scrapes.
  • This:

and this:

  • Sesame sticks
  • Anne of Green Gables
  • Jurassic Park
  • Watching somebody play video games such as Skyrim and Assassins Creed, which are kind of like films
  • Parks and Recreation
  • Swimming in the sea
  • Swimming anywhere
  • Cuddling in
  • Singing along to Kate Bush, specifically Wuthering Heights and This Woman’s Work
  • That smug deadly feeling you get just after doing loads of exercise outdoors and just before you eat everything in the house, thus undoing all the good work
  • New magazines that someone else has paid for
  • Turning the pillow over to get to the cold side
  • Lemon drizzle cake
  • Fanta
  • New books
  • John Cusack in Say Anything
  • The film Aliens
  • Trivial Pursuit

One response to “These are a few of my least-favourite things

  1. These are the things that I desperately/compulsively want to click ‘like’ on:

    -poorly washed dishes
    -baby on board stickers (x 100000)
    -hello , yes this is dog
    -Turning the pillow over to get to the cold side

    you need to install buttons on lists like this, I’ll be itching to clicky something all day now – but it’ll never be the right thing.

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